10.15 - It was a fine spring morning in the Vale of Glamorgan with a bit of a scent about as he dawdled about the farm yard and talked to the sheep dogs, milling around his feet. Her loyal subject awaited an audience as he was there to collect a key for his branch surgery, quite unaware of what was next to come.
10.15.10sec - Well, talk about “tally ho”, “flushed from cover”. “La belle mere” is first spotted, sprinting from the kitchen door, making a bee line for her trusted steed and shiny chariot, her Renault Picasso motor car. It was all too quick for him to see whether war paint was on or whether long knives were attached, Bodica style.
10.15. 40sec. - I leapt from my seat only to be met with a blast on the horn, blown to rally the troops, maybe, but the sheepdogs scampered for cover, last seen cringing from under the stable door with their noses sniffing the air. The spectacle before me conjourned up thoughts of the chase in full swing “On, on, on…get on…disguise fair nature with hard favoured rage”…..then high pitched commands of, “out of the way or I will call the police”, a furious finding of first, a foot to the floor and a forward leap, flinging me to the floor with an audible crunch! I hit concrete but my bad hip was there first, absorbing all 98 kilos of me, making it now my turn to scream. The sudden shock of searing pain caused me to wet my pants in the process, for embarrassment later.
Of my eight broken joints, acquired over the years, my pelvis was host for but two. For example, two years earlier my pelvic symphysis, had parted (not for a foetus) with a loud “crack” that could be heard at a hundred paces. I had come down from a great height, for the third time but without losing a stirrup, onto the pommel of the saddle….Ouch!!! Jake's Justice, our retired race horse had been spooked by traffic but continued to buck! Ever since, any stories of the Rajah and black privates again brought water to my eyes.
As for the other joint, years ago in Guernsey, I had “acquired” a dislocated hip, the police making sure that little was done about it for the best part of 24 hours as I remained, for much of the time, in handcuffs, as if I was going to run away! Nurses at the time, visiting my surgery on the island, with their pets, regularly told me, as soon as their was a cough or a headache in the nurses’ home they were off on the first aircraft for Southampton Hospital, rather than treatment in the Islands!
11.15 - While I managed eventually to drive to Bridgend and the Princess of Wales Hospital, Bodica went to ground, clutching my key. Morphine, following a painful examination, did little for a throbbing acetabulum and an aching back.
12 15 - X-rays showed arthritis and avascular necrosis and a suspiciously looking crack on neck of femur, calling for an MRI scan. It was a night of little sleep as now the old ankle fracture, full of metal from a hang gliding accident, was now also in the frame. And to think, all on the last day of three hundred fantastic years of fox hunting.
NEWS FLASH - MAURICE KIRK FACES NEW ADVERSARY
Maurice Kirk, the Flying Vet (he still has a Bachelor of Veterinary Science degree from Bristol University, even if he is not currently on the RCVS Register) was admitted to hospital in South Wales on Wednesday morning, February 16th, following a motor accident. Currently battling with the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons over their refusal of his application for restoration to the Register, Mr Kirk had apparently encountered a new foe when his mother-in-law ran him down in her car. An hour later he managed to drive himself to The Princess of Wales Hospital in Bridgend where he was subjected to a painful examination. The administration of Morphine had little effect on the throbbing hip and aching back. He asked our reporter to bear that in mind that he was under the influence of morphine following treatment which might affect lucidity. X-Rays, he said, showed arthritis, avascular necrosis and a suspiciously looking crack on the neck of the femur. Lucid or not, he was reluctant to undergo surgery as apart from pain, limb and brain function seemed to be unimpaired. Apparently the orthopaedic consultant concurred with Mr. Kirk’s opinion but an MRI scan was imminent. An update on current progress may well be on his website (www.kirkflyingvet.com) by the time you read this.
As Mr Kirk pointed out, this all happened on the last day of hunting. He was lucid alright.